I would like you to meet our judges Howard Stern, Howie Mandel and Sharon Osborne.

Bart Neri

I knew you'd come back, Hillary.

First things first, birth certificate please.

"Barak, I see you're now just delivering pizza. You found a job that fits you."

Quayle? But I don't hunt!

"I hope they aren't handing out bibles."

This better be the right Joseph Smith this time...

Remember Newt, your first responsibility will be to write my debate speeches and be the voice in my ear. Yeah, I know, it's not fair, you are the smartest guy in the room, but you're just not electable as the POTUS. Think of it as being a relief pitcher!

Remember Ron, your first responsibility will be to write my debate speeches and be the voice in my ear. Yeah, I know, it's not fair, you are the smartest guy in the room, but you're just not electable as the POTUS. Think of it as being a relief pitcher!

Rick, go ahead and pray, it's your best shot.

Hello again, Satan. You left Wall Street too?

"Thanks for coming, Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope"

"Oh, No, it's Oberweis! "

"Thanks for the Candygram, but there are already too many landsharks in D.C."

I can raise more money than anyone and 94% of the time the canadite who raises the most money wins!! God bless America and all who complain but don't open there wallets! If the public decides we need to get money out of politics we (the 1%) are all screwed! They say this election is going to cost over $1,000,000,000 for me to win. I need your donations and will do anything to get them. If that means putting on my knee pads.... I'm willing to do it.

"I just can't quit you."

I not only saved the auto industry, I invented the internet.

Come on in and leave your positions outside.

I will need a Vice-President so once again we can have a great office in the White House after I defeat Odumba!

No, I don't have time to talk about the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Dick Cheney, I didn't expect to see you. You say the other applicants met with unfortunate accidents?

Lets all sing together.

Obama loves me! This I know,
For Obama tells me so;
Welfare recipients to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong.
Yes, Obama loves me!
Yes, Obama loves me!
Yes, Obama loves me!
The Freeloaders tell me so.

Obama loves me! He who lied,
Country's gates to open wide;
Gave away my job with a grin,
Let the Illegal aliens come in.
Yes, Obama loves me!
Yes, Obama loves me!
Yes, Obama loves me!
The Migrants tell me so.

Obama loves me! So they say,
Healthcare for all and will I pay;
He's given away my home for me,
And some day His bill I'll see.
Yes, Obama loves me!
Yes, Obama loves me!
Yes, Obama loves me!
The Socialists tell me so

Whoever it is, I hope you got money - we're going up against the Billion Dollar Baby

Any woman will do - right? Let's find another one like Sarah Palin!

With Odumba supporting same sex marriage, we need a strong team now to vote him out of office!

Well look who it is, George Bush and his twin sister Sarah Palin. I'm sorry I only have room for one in the Cat'ie. But wait, I'll bet you $10,000 that Sarah will fit in the roof top family carrier..........

"I hope you're not a woman - the liberal media will tear into you like a pack of rabid wolves."

Sorry Newt, Weight Watchers is the next door down.

Please enter and permit me to greet you, fellow human.

The House is a-rockin' so don't bother knockin'...come on in!

It doesn't matter who you are or what you believe in .... Most TAX Paying American citizens will vote for ANYBODY BUT Obama !!!

"Good news you've bean selected to be on vice president candidate idol!!! Do you want to go for ice cream and smoke cigars?"

"Well, no, I hadn't considered having an arborist for VP - but if you can promise to keep all the trees at the right height..."

"Yes, I know I said that corporations are people, but no, General Motors, I don't think you can serve as VP"

"Since the Vice President is considered a 'servant of the people'...would you be opposed to washing and waxing Ann's Cadillacs?"

"I dont get American politics"