A Son's Letter of Thanks

Most of you know about my ex-husband, Jim, and what has happened to him. 

You can probably imagine that my family is filled with apprehension and fear of what is to come.  Many of my closest friends know of the special bond shared by my ex-husband, his wonderful wife, Gail, and myself. Some think it's strange that we are all friends and share our holidays together, etc.

They think it's odd that we all get along and genuinely like each other, but Jim is the father of our son, and I am the stepmom to his two sons.  We have been involved in one another's lives for almost 30 years.  That is a long time to love people and build so many memories together, and help raise three fine young men. 

His sons consider me their mother. We've always joked that they had a mother, and then me - their "other" mother, and then when Jim married Gail, they had "another other" mother!  Sounds confusing, but what has always made it easy is the belief that our problems should never be our children's problems.  We love "our" kids and wanted them to have as much love and stability as possible.  We didn't want them torn at holidays or uncomfortable to be at gatherins together. 

Just because we couldn't live together didn't mean we couldn't care about, and respect, one another.   So, we've always achieved that.  Now that we are facing this crisis with  Jim's life hanging in the balance, we are all there pulling together.  That's the way it should be.  He is surrounded by love - not bickering and contention.  For that, I am truly proud of our family.  I'm proud of Gail for her willingness to share Jim with us and allow us to be an integral part of their family.  She is an incredibly special and giving person.   He is blessed to have her. 

My son, Bryan, wrote these words to his stepmom that really say so much about life and our perceptions.  Seeing his simple, heartfelt, words about loving his Dad and expressing his hopes magnifies the essence of this life and what is important.  I've always told him that when we have our health and family, then we have everything.  When all else fades away, our family will be there through thick and thin.  I share Bryan's words because it epitomizes that importance. 

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Dear Gail,

I just want to thank you for staying by my Dad's side.  He is truly in great hands.  Seeing him like this tears us all apart, and yet brings us closer as a family.  Once Dad gets well and we all have a group cry, I'm gonna hug him like never before. 

When he is well again, everyday is going to have a more special meaning, and the once a week phone call just won't do anymore!  We will be visiting with him more.  Sometimes it feels like the "I love you" at the end of our phone call is a formality or a routine - even though it isn't.  The next time Dad and I share an "I love you", it will be the best one ever!!

Thanks again Gail for all the love and support you give to my Dad,

Bryan

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I fervently hope that happens for our family. When the doctor asked Gail if there was anything he could do for her, she responded, "Yes, you can bring me a miracle."  As my friend pointed out, this is the season for miracles, so I hope it's okay if I put in my request for one too.  Jim needs one now.   

So tonight, when you tell your children, or your loved ones, "goodnight, I love you", I hope you'll realize what that really means.  I hope you'll hold them closer, knowing that,  in an instant,  we can lose them.  Please remember what this season is really about.  Make it the most blessed one ever. 

Thank you so much and please continue your prayers for Jim.